Sunday, October 5, 2008

Here we go again...

Wow!  Where do I start?  Good news and bad news across the board.  First the good news -- no more chemo!  Now, on to the bad news...

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was accepted into a research program at the National Institutes of Health's National Cancer Institute.  After a few initial interviews, I had my formal in-processing and medical review on Friday.  Here's where I spent much of my time:  
The doctors there are stellar.  Very thorough, very intelligent, and they have a massive wealth of experience and resources.  They spent almost five hours with me, and the bottom line is this -- chemo isn't working.  Starting this Tuesday, I'm back at NIH for another MRI, and on the road to my third craniotomy, where they'll probably remove the entire right frontal lobe.  Surgery hasn't worked, chemo isn't working, so this third surgery will be followed by six weeks of radiation -- the only option we have left.  Pending lots of legwork and insurance paperwork, I'll have surgery at Harvard Medical Center's Dana Farber Cancer Center, with Dr. Peter Black -- one of the most brilliant surgeons on the planet.  Radiation will be here at NIH/NCI.

Now, those of you who know me are acutely aware that this is a serious blow, but it won't slow me down much.  My "therapy" was a good ten-miler today, and I averaged 7:56...not blazing, but fast enough for me.  I'm still on track to run the Seattle Marathon in November, and training is going quite well.  My 14-miler last weekend felt great, and today's ten-miler was a walk (okay, run) in the park.  JD (see my previous post about him) is also doing well, and he and I were both featured in a nice two-page article in Racecenter Northwest Magazine this month -- if you're in the USATF Northwest region, pick up a copy and turn to page 50!  

So, how do I feel about it?  It's strange how many people ask me that question, and I'm never sure how to answer.  Yeah, it sucks.  No, it's not what I want to do.  No, it's not the news I was hoping for.  Yes, I fear for my life and for my family.  What do they expect me to say?  But, you can't dwell on those thoughts.  You have to keep living.  You have to press on.  In the words of Paul, embroidered into the shoes in which I ran my first marathon, we must "run with perseverance the race marked out before us."  I've been here before.  I've come through two prior brain surgeries.  I'll come through again, have no fear.  I'd love to power through in time to run the inaugural Rock-n-Roll Seattle Marathon in June.  Here's a challenge to all the bloggers out there -- if I make it, care to join me?  

7 comments:

jkhenson said...

Hey, Michael. I have been wondering how you were, as I hadn't heard in a while. Didn't want to bug you with "how are you" messages. :) How about how's the monkey? :)
You are in my prayers, as you know. Please keep us posted. When is everything? Hugs to all three of you! :)

Carrie said...

Your comment sure made me smile. Tough times ahead...I hope you see my name there with you all the way. Be strong. Seattle in June, huh? I've never, ever wanted to run a marathon- but 3 brain surgeries is pretty impressive...

You make it, I'll figure out a way to make it.

Alili said...

"You have to keep living. You have to press on." Such truth in those words, regardless of the size of the obstacle.

So, you really are throwing down that gauntlet...you've given me more to think about...I've always wanted to go to Seattle...

Ace said...

Wow, your posting stirred my heart. Run for the prize my friend! You have some prayers going out from this direction.

Seattle marathon!?! I just started reading your blog, but I'm thinking about it....did I just say that out loud? :)

Kevin Westbrook said...

What an inspirational posts! I will be praying for you. Paul is a great inspiration for all of us.. and so are you! I wish I could join you in your marathon but Seattle is a very long way for me. Good luck!

momo said...

i would love to see you again after so many years and i would absolutely love to meet your family, so yes. WHEN all goes well and if you go, i will go too.

and michael? just so you know - you're are an incredible testament to those words of paul.

big hugs.

jen said...

Hiya Michael, I am just getting caught up on the blog. First off, sorry to hear the chemo didn't work and you're in for another surgery and radiation. No fun at all. But you're an old pro at this, and you know the saying "Third time's a charm" :)

I am beyond inspired with your attitude- you are unstoppable. Awesome runs lately! I think you'll do great at Seattle, that's coming up soon! I didn't know they were starting a R&R in Seattle, awesome. I don't know if I will run it, but I can def come up and cheer. I'd love to meet you and the family. :) Keep the baby pics coming and keep up the positive attiude. You are awesome.