SYMPTOMS and SIDE EFFECTS. Man, chemo has been brutal lately! Thanks to all my blogger buddies who checked in on me over the last two rounds -- I've completed eight, with four to go! That's 2/3 of the way through. Yeah! Unfortunately, I've gotten sick on the last two rounds...once on Sunday morning, then again this last round on Friday night. In both cases, I probably should have taken additional anti-emetic medications, but decided not to...and I'm learning that is a BAD decision. At the same time, it really doesn't make me look forward to the next four rounds. Which got me thinking...
With everything I've been through fighting this bug called Cancer, I've never had a single symptom. Not one. Oh, don't misunderstand -- I've had headaches, nausea, vomiting, constipation, diarrhea, memory loss, blurred and double vision, vertigo, weakness, and fatigue -- but every one of those were caused by either brain surgery or chemotherapy. Approaching my tenth year battling cancer, I still have not had a single symptom from the cancer. This must be the difference between a symptom and side-effect. I've had side-effects -- just no symptoms.
So in my case, the "cure" (though it's not one yet) is worse than the disease. It is extremely difficult to convince myself that chemo and surgeries are necessary, when I don't feel sick. Now, before you start drafting that e-mail, rest assured that I've tried homeopathic and naturopathic doctors, The Cancer Diet, MangoSteen, Xantha, Acai Berry, Antioxidants, and probably every other "cancer cure" you've read about in the National Enquirer or gotten forwarded to you in a spam e-mail...and without going down a lengthy rabbit hole, let's just say I've settled on conventional medicine. But that doesn't make it any easier. Round #9 starts on August 24th...bring it on.
SURGERIES. Okay, some of you know I had my six-month MRI and follow-up with neuro-oncology and neurosurgery. Having left California, I'm now being seen at Bethesda Medical Center and/or Walter Reed Medical Center in Maryland. Both are military hospitals, so that's not ideal...but I have good news:
They're referring me to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) one of the leading research centers in the world. Specifically, the National Cancer Institute -- that is SO awesome! I'm so blessed to be able to be seen by some of the greatest physicians on the planet. Second, more good news -- the cancer showed NO progression! That's the awesome news we were hoping for. The chemo appears to be working. However, it's not all wine and roses...the neurosurgeons here are far more concerned about my condition than the surgeons at Cedars-Sinai, where I've been going for the past nine years. They were amazed that I had decided to leave a tumor in my brain, and "hope" that it doesn't progress, metastasize, or upgrade. Dr. Rosen (has anyone seen "Fletch"?) at Bethesda recommended going immediately on a path to another surgery, and removing the tumor. We talked about it for almost two hours, and he eventually left the decision up to me -- and (see above) with no symptoms from the tumor, no and signs of growth or progression, I have no incentive to go back into surgery. Is that the right decision? Who knows. What do you think? Surgery has been far more harmful and traumatic to me than the cancer ever has been...so as long as the cancer is contained and I'm asymptomatic, what justification is there for surgery? Thoughts? It's a tough one, isn't it?
SEATTLE. On a lighter note, training for Seattle has begun! Two weeks ago I started my marathon training for the Seattle Marathon in November. I'm using the same training plan I used for Big Sur, which worked very well...based loosely on The Penguin's book "Marathoning for Mortals." If you haven't read it, it's outstanding...even if you don't like the training plans, the commentary and advice is wonderful. Finally, the Garmin ForeRunner 405 is amazing. I love it. Thanks for the advice, Momo -- you were right! I'm at about 30 - 35 miles per week, averaging about 7:43 per mile...I think 3:45 at Seattle is realistic. By the way, if you're following the story, I saw JD in Seattle a few weeks ago, and he looks great! The first time I've seen him since his dramatic weight loss, and he's a completely different person. And he's already running 10 - 11 miles on his long runs! He's an inspiration to many, especially ME. Running in DC is a joy...different from running along the ocean every day, but it's always fun to explore a new town (one of the reasons I never run the same marathon twice). Isn't that part of the fun?
Well, that's it for now -- thanks again for all your prayers and support. For those who asked, Pooh and The Monkey are doing just fine...and as cute as ever...here's proof:
Worth running for? You bet. Worth fighting for? ABSOLUTELY.
9 comments:
Oh my gosh.
That picture...ADORABLE. PRICELESS. Worth fighting for? Totally made me cry.
Thank you for the updates. More importantly for being the inspiration I needed in my life. I don't have advice to make your decisions any easier, but I do tend to think like you and will support and pray for anything you do.
Can't wait to get back to my own training...the training I said I would never do. Eating crow now. Wise words from the girl that hates to run and swore NEVER to run any sort of organized race. I suppose now is the time to say "never say never".
You are such a blessing in my life. Thank you for being my friend.
Love and hugs to your beautiful family...
A
You are asking us in blogland about whether or not you should go through the surgery? You are a brave, brave man. My answer is I have no clue - I just continue to read in awe as you continue your battle.
Take care and keep rocking.
Glad you felt better enough to update! Was good to hear from you, although not good that the chemo's making you so ill.
Monkey is so cute! Thanks for sharing the pic-that smile was contagious! :) Hope it helps you, too!
We're cheering you on from the sidelines!:)
its so hard, michael, to decide. i guess that is why you're throwing it out there.
personally, having watched my mother go through what she did, and after having them perform "preventative" surgery which changed her forever - i would say that you need to weigh the quality of your life before surgery and what you think the quality of your life will be after another surgery. you seem to be tolerating the chemo fairly well, the tumor is not growing (THANK GOD!) and you're still interacting with your family, traveling, working and running. how do you think things will be after another surgery? i know its unknown, but you have to go there to try to anticipate.
regardless of what your decision is, i hope you know that we will all be here to support and help you in whatever ways we can. you're an incredible inspiration to so many.
hugs to you! and to that little peanut - she's absolutely beautiful!
Awwww...she is one of the prettiest babies I've ever seen!
What are the risks of the surgery? What are the risks of leaving the tumor? Which can you live with? Which can you live without?
I don't have any advice or insight-I just simply thank you for your courage, wisdom and inspiration. And for those sweet pictures of your little one:)
She is absolutely worth fighting for.
Congrats on the referral. Hopefully they can still be a huge benefit despite your decision to forego the surgery for now.
What a tough decision. I can't imagine how hard it must've been, but you are doing the right thing for you at this time and no doctor can hold that against you.
Checking in-hope you're doing okay!
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