The New Normal

Two quick things to start:

First, thanks to all of you who were so encouraging with regard to my swim times and my "Iron Dreams."  Thanks to you, they're still alive!  

Second, I apologize for dropping off the map for a week or two...if you are or have been in the military, or if you're a dependent like Momo and JK, you know that every few summers is PCS (Permanent Change of Station) season!  Yep, that's me.  I'm headed to the Pentagon in about three weeks, and I just got back from taking Pooh and Monkey over.  I'm back just to pack up the house, graduate, grab the cat and the car, and head out behind them.  I've been repeating to myself, "Don't forget the cat, don't forget the cat, don't forget the cat..." for several weeks now.  I flew back on Monday, and sat in the empty house for a while just thinking...what did I used to DO when I was single?  How did I use up all this time?  MAN, it's quiet in here...there was a baby three or four rows back who cried for almost the entire flight from Denver, and it was strangely comforting...who would have thought I'd find comfort in a crying baby?

So it's been a bit hectic around here lately.  Not to mention that I started chemotherapy (again) this week.  Round number six...four days in, and I feel absolutely miserable.  I wish I had a better report, but that's the truth.  Woke up about 4:45am this morning with terrible nausea and cramping, and fought it for about six hours -- only started feeling better just a few minutes ago.  Doesn't help to be going through it solo, with my support structure (Pooh) and my beautiful baby girl absent.  Fortunately, we have a tremendous support structure through the church and through friends, who have done everything from shopping to making meals and watching the cat while we were gone.  Thank God for friends!

So, the trip to Los Angeles last month has brought with it a realization.  As long as my wife and I have been fighting this cancer battle, our hope has been that we would beat it and go back to our normal life.  This disease is an obstacle, like the wall at 20 miles, that we just need to push through so we can win.  Once we "fix this," we can go back to normal.  Well, we've recently had to rethink our approach.  Coming up on 10 years of fighting, including two brain surgeries and 18 (so far) rounds of chemotherapy, with many more to come, we both realize...there is no "going back" to our other life.  This does not appear to be a situation where we "beat it" and go back to normal.  On the contrary, this is the new normal.  Cancer will be a part of our lives now and in the future.  Even if we beat it (a third time), it will still be there, hovering overhead, lurking in the back of our minds at every annual checkup.  Once you face a foe this formidable, you can never go back to what you thought was your "normal" life.  You find that "normal" just changes.  

I'll make it through this round, and the next one.  And the next.  The neuro-oncologist mentioned records of folks staying on chemotherapy for as long as five years -- and if that's what's in store, so be it.  Bring it on.  Faith, family, and friends -- including the "extended family" of bloggers -- will carry me through.  Thanks for all your support...and welcome to The New Normal.  Anyone up for a run?