I felt great -- it was a bit slow, averaging 8:12, but still on track for about 3:45 at Seattle. The colors were so great that Pooh and I went back the next day with Monkey...she loved it!
I followed the 18-miler with a good 50-mile week, even turning in a 12-mile run at 7:32 pace...a PR for me! All ready for the 20+ mile run this weekend -- I'll probably try to hit 22, just to make sure I'm ready for 26.2 in a few weeks. So, I've been putting in a lot of miles...and am now battling what appears to be some pretty nasty tendonitis in my left Achilles. I've never had that before, and I'm a little worried that it may put a kink in the Seattle Marathon plans. Now welcome advice from BlogLand...
So, that's the news from the training side...on the side of the cancer battle, it's been a bit tough lately. In general, there is a question that is off limits for most cancer patients -- the unmentionable "WHY?" I stay away from it...it does no good to ponder the question, and the likelihood that you'll ever know the answer is basically zero. Well, let's just say I've been thinking about it a lot lately -- perhaps due to Monkey, perhaps due to the pending surgery, probably both. As a man of faith, it's been a subject of frequent prayer...and, for a number of years now, I've thought I know the answer. What I've been through, what I'm going through, gives me a tremendously powerful testimony that can be used to inspire and motivate people. It inspires and motivates some to run -- I can count about a dozen people who have run marathons (and more) after hearing my story. There is at least another dozen people who have been inspired to run or get in shape, though probably not marathons. More importantly, I think my testimony could perhaps even strengthen the faith of others.
In all honesty, that's where I've focused most of my testimony...but I'm having trouble reconciling it this time. Isn't there a "point of diminishing returns" on the power of this kind of testimony? In other words, is the testimony of someone who has had three brain surgeries really that much more powerful than the testimony of someone who has had only two? In Biblical terms, thinking of 1 Corinthians 11:23 - 27, would Paul's testimony have been any less powerful if he had been beaten with rods only twice? Would his testimony have been that much more powerful if he had been stoned twice instead of only once? I don't think so. I guess I'm just frustrated because I think my story is inspirational enough with only two surgeries...why go through a third? What's the point? If I'm correct, and the reason -- the why -- I'm going through this is to have a powerful testimony to inspire and motivate others, is a third surgery and recovery really necessary to achieve that end?
Well, enough lamenting...I have to keep my head on straight (yeah, I know...easy joke...). Now is not the time to get depressed or upset. Paul also suffered an affliction of some kind, and prayed for it to be removed. God's answer was simply, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." Roger, Boss -- my suffering will somehow glorify You -- and I may not ever know how or why. It's just...that can be a tough pill to swallow sometimes.
4 comments:
Thanks again for a wonderful post. You will be in my prayers. I wish I had "slow" training times like you too. That is really fast.
A wonderfully thought and tear provoking post. You are with me on every single run, although with those times you are always leading. Big hugs.
One is as impressive as 3. But if 3 is the magic number- then it is meant to be.
One consideration might be, timing? For example, if not three then those who are yet to hear the story, be inspired/motivated/faith renewed etc might never be? (like me!) I agree, its a hard one to wrestle with. Prayers going your way.
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